Isn't it Ironic?

You know what’s funny? Irony. Irony is funny. It’s not really funny in the mix of things, but when you get to step outside of yourself and see everything in context, irony is quite comical. And God is the comic genius of our lives.

As a kid, I was taught that nothing was going to happen unless I got off my butt and made it happen. This applied to the simplest of circumstances, like wanting a glass of water, to the more complex, like wanting a job. Whichever, the lesson was that we, the Elbouez women, did not take hand-outs. If you tried paying for dinner, we picked a fight. If you tried complimenting us, we down-played it. We didn’t need your favors or your sympathy. Actually, we didn’t need you, either. And it was a pretty tough shell to maintain. Even if it was the most impossible of situations, we still found a way to carry the burden on our shoulders and the solution in our hands. You can imagine how exhausting this must be.

About a month ago, someone told me something that turned my world of independence upside down. They told me that I was powerless. They told me that in actuality, I didn’t have control over anything. And to top it off, I was not the only person I needed in life. Of course, I scoffed at the idea like any stubborn girl would. But internally, I was a little worried.

Christ told me, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” And then I said, “Oh, surely you don’t mean ‘nothing’.” And He looked at me sternly, and replied, “Don’t call me Shirley. And yes, I mean ‘nothing’.” So I waited. And geeze louise, was He right.

Not only am I in a situation where I don’t know what to do, but I literally can’t do anything! I feel like a spectator to my own life. I can’t make a move. It’s one of the most foreign feelings I’ve ever experienced. Other than that time in Argentina at my host mother’s birthday party. You know what it feels like? It’s like being this world-renowned gourmet chef, and you’ve been asked to prepare a meal for 15 judges (so I may have been watching Bravo the other night). Except, they put you in an empty room with no appliances, utensils, supplies…or food. Yup, you got nothing. But you want to win this competition like your life depended on it, and you can’t even begin to devise a plan of attack.

Welcome to a life in Christ. Understanding that I don’t actually control anything, and accepting that Someone Else does. Ironic? Yes. Unnerving? Not as much as you’d think. Motivation for a blog entry? Most def.