Can I Do College Over?

It’s about that time of the year again. No, not tax season. It’s the time of the year when I start to wonder what the heck I’m doing with my career. It’s when I start surfing the net for graduate school programs, websites on how to become a teacher, salary averages for non-profit positions. Yeah, it’s that time again.

So since I’m pretty sure I don’t know what job I’d rather have than the one I have now, I decided to make up a job. And here it goes:

Firstly, I’d get to wear whatever I want. This means skinny jeans and chucks galore! No more business casual! And if I wanted to re-pierce my lip, they’d be ok with that. Actually, they’d encourage it. Because the motto of my fictional-job work environment would be “Be who you are, just get your work done.”

Secondly, I would never need to work long hours. Eight hours would be enough for my bosses to feel confident that I earned my salary; and they’d even say things like “go enjoy this beautiful day!” if they saw me working too late. Working on weekends? Absurd!

My job would require that I use my creativity. “Sam, think of a caption for this picture” or “What color should be in the background?” or “How do I end this paragraph?” My job wouldn’t be a systematic task that I repeat over and over with slight variation; to the point that deviating from “what we did last time” would be seen as a hassle.

My co-workers would be friendly, non-competitive, and helpful. Not so laid-back that I can’t depend on them to finish an assignment, but not so cut-throat that they’re secretly keeping information from me so that I’ll look bad in front of our manager. You think I’m kidding, but these people exist.

Taking off time from work or leaving early is fine as long as someone has a heads up and my work is done when it needs to be. We’re adults here, and we have commitments beyond our jobs. I just want upper management to admit it, too.

I get paid enough to sustain an independent lifestyle. If I can’t even afford rent, then I’m not getting paid enough. If I can just barely afford rent and then have enough money for one meal at Chipotle, then I’m not getting paid enough. A girl’s gotta eat!

My job would be fun! I’d get to interact with people, make jokes, and send youtube clips that I thought were awesome. And maybe once a week or so, I’d pull a prank on a co-worker and not get reprimanded for it.

Travel wouldn’t be required, and health insurance would be included (heck, even dental!).

Does a job like this exist? I hope so. Am I qualified for it? Probably not, seeing as how I majored and worked in probably the exact opposite industry and environment than what I just described above.

*sigh* One day.