Zombies

As of late, I’ve been watching waaay too much TV.  Well, it’s not actual TV.  It’s Netflix Watch Instantly.  But since I’m mainly watching TV series and not movies, we’ll stick with “TV”.  Regardless, it’s bad.  Especially when I start mixing TV into real life.  Have you had a conversation with me recently?  Have I mentioned Liz Lemon?  Maybe Entertainment 720?  Have I given you my dissertation on the inequality of women in the workplace during the 1960’s?  I’m pretty sure I have.  And it’s because of TV.

Now, this may be all fun and games when it comes to sitcoms.  But this past week, I discovered a very un-sitcom show that has literally taken over my mind.  It’s called The Walking Dead, and it’s a series on AMC about zombies.  Now in general, I’ve always enjoyed zombie movies.  There’s something strangely intriguing about dead-but-not-dead humans with a craving for flesh.  It’s disgusting I know.  I never claimed to be normal.  But then AMC comes out with this show and I can’t get zombies off the brain…literally, because they love brains (see, even my jokes are zombie related!).

Last night, I had about a 20 minute conversation with my brother-in-law about how we should prepare for an impending zombie attack.  We first needed to establish a few things.  Firstly, what kind of zombies are we dealing with?  Are they I Am Legend zombies that only come out at night?  Are they Zombieland zombies that literally run at you?  Are they The Walking Dead zombies who primarily work off of sound and smell?  And by the end of this conversation, I realized that preparing for a zombie-takeover is a tedious task.  Not to mention we have a 4 year old, 3 year old, and 5 month old in the house.  Those little suckers don’t make escaping easy.  We decided that me and my sister should start lifting weights so that we can wear each kid like a backpack.

I know what you’re thinking.  “Selbouez has finally lost it.  She has gone off the deep end.”  But before you call me crazy (which I’m totally ok with), check out the website for the Center for Disease Control and Prevention.  They have a whole page dedicated to zombies! So in your face, condescending blog-reader!  I’m not the only one who sees the dire need to be prepared. 

So yeah.  If you were wondering why I haven’t been posting a lot this month, it’s because of TV.  And zombies.  But mostly TV.  I know…I’m going to cut down.  I can quit anytime, you know.  I’m bigger than TV.  TV doesn’t run my life…said the girl who was addicted to TV.