Shine

Since it’s exam time (not for me, but apparently for all my friends), I started to get a little nostalgic about my test-taking days. I thought about all those midterms and finals that stressed me out so much. Especially the ones where I barely had any time to study, or those that covered an obscene amount of material that no human being could possibly consume or comprehend. Ah yes…I definitely do not miss those days. You know what the worst ones were? I’m not sure if this happened to anyone else but me, but there were some tests where I’d finish in half the time allotted, smile as I turned in my scantron, and think to myself, “wow, that was easy!” Only to receive my exam grade a week later and read, to my horror, that I had completely bombed the test. “How the ..?” Those were my thoughts. How did this happen when I thought I did so well?

Walking home from work the other day, I was listening to my girl Estelle. I call her “my girl” as if we’re friends. In actuality, she’s from London, ridiculously cool and innovative, and she hangs out with John Legend. So really, she’s not my girl…but when I listen to her music, I feel like we could be best friends. On Estelle’s album “Shine,” her title track is flawless. Almost Lauryn-Hill-esque, with the melodic-rap combo. Estelle sings:
Oh this is my song
I'm just like you
I gotta fight to stay strong
Just ‘cause it clears
It don't mean that it's over
I'm a shine
While my light’s on

Sometimes, I get ahead of myself. Just like my overconfidence manifested itself in my terrible exam grades, it sneaks up on me spiritually as well. When the storm’s over and I think, “Alright, I got it from here”… everything starts to crash and burn. And I have to admit, I've already fallen into this trap, yet again. But I know better this time.

The Holy 50 is a perfect excuse for us to let our guards down; to strut around like we’ve got it covered. But really, the Holy 50 should be a time when we realize that although the enemy was defeated, the battle’s just begun. I gotta fight to keep myself grounded. I gotta fight to remember where I came from, what I’ve been through, and most importantly, Who brought me through it. I gotta fight to stay strong.

"You are going to have the light just a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may become sons of light.”

So, as my girl Estelle would say, I’m a shine while my light’s on.