I don’t know how, and I don’t know what it was; but I spent the whole night hugging my toilet because of it. Between the hours of 11:00 pm and 4:00 am, I threw up five times. Ok, I know, too much information. But the graphic details serve to make my point, I promise.
By the third or fourth attempt to throw up (I say attempt because by the third or fourth time, there’s nothing left in your stomach TO throw-up…so basically you’re just choking), I wanted to quit life. Seriously. I put my head down and said, “God, just take me now.” As melodramatic as it sounds, I would have rathered died than dry-heave one more time.
Today, as I spent all day in bed, scared to move in case nausea ensued, I read my daily devotional called “Jesus Calling.” For December 8th, it said, “Come to Me in all your neediness, with defenses down and with desire to be blessed.” Talk about defenses down, I had my face in a toilet for 5 hours. And as I thought about it some more, I realized that I can do nothing for myself.
Sometimes, it feels like we’re in control. We got ourselves dressed, we started our cars, we drove to work. But what happens on the day when you physically can’t do any of those things? You’ve not only lost the ability to be self-sufficient, but now you actually NEED someone to get something so simple accomplished. I can’t tell you how many times last night I promised God that I would never take my health for granted. But my stomach virus was just a tiny piece of the puzzle.
We have to need Him all the time. We have to recognize His presence in everything. Even if it’s a deep yearning or longing for something, you’ll never satisfy it on your own. Actually, I take that back. You could. But it would be such a poor and temporary attempt.
Be needy. And let Him fulfill every need. Whether it’s a need to be loved or a need to stop throwing up.
No comments:
Post a Comment