I haven’t been able to get into the Christmas spirit too much this year. Maybe it was just more exciting when I was a kid. Or maybe I’ve just been preoccupied with other things. Whatever the reason, Christmas just doesn’t feel like anything special this year.
My priest keeps giving sermons about how on Christmas, God becomes tangible. And He’ll be able to rescue us from our problems. Not solve our problems, but save us from the despair and hopelessness. I’ll be in Bolivia during Christmas (at least the Orthodox one), and I want to see and touch God when I’m there. If He’s supposed to become tangible, I want Him to hug me and pat my back and tell me that everything is going to be ok. I want Him to tell me that He loves me and that it doesn’t matter if no one else does. I want Him to hold my hand and tell me that all I have to do is walk beside Him, and I’ll never feel like I need anything. That His joy, peace, and love will fill me just by being close to Him. If God becomes tangible, I want to lean my head on His shoulder and not be sad, or scared, or heartbroken. I want Him to be my dad, my husband, and my best friend; while being my Savior, king, and creator.
That’s all I want for Christmas. Don’t tell me God is going to become tangible and then hide Him from me. Don’t tell me “that’s not how He works” or that “His time on earth is over.” If God won’t become flesh again, then I pray He would find another way. He’s the One who can raise people from the dead, give children to the barren and the virgin, and countless other impossible things. The one thing I ask is for Him to come and make me feel how much He loves me. I know He does. But I want to feel it…tangibly.
If Christmas is about Him coming to earth to save us, to tell us “Don’t be afraid” and that it’s a time for rejoicing, then that’s exactly what I want to experience. Otherwise, Christmas will just come and go like it does every year; and I’ll just be a little emptier than before.
No comments:
Post a Comment