Quitting

When I was in college, I had a lot of interviews.  Sometimes they were serious, sometimes they weren't.  I was a business major; mock interviews were what we did for fun (not really).  In any case, there was always one question that I found people to answer horribly.  It was: “What’s your biggest weakness?”  Or something like that.  Maybe: “What’s your greatest flaw?”  The point was to name something unflattering about yourself that could be a hindrance to your work ethic or performance.  And the part that always made me roll my eyes (dramatically, like a teenager, because I still act 16) was when people answered, “My greatest weakness is being a perfectionist.”  Really?  Being a perfectionist?  How horrible!  Life must totally suck for you. 

Now, I’m not saying I always had a great answer.  I tended to go with the “I sleep too much” route.  It’s true, but not particularly profound.  Yesterday, during Bible Study, our priest focused on the story of Abraham when he finally arrived at Bethel (Canaan).  This was the place God brought him to.  Abraham literally left everything and everyone in obedience to come live in Canaan.  Then he gets to Canaan, and there’s a famine.  So he leaves and goes to Egypt.  Where he didn’t have to worry about a famine.  Where things were easy.  And where he could be comfortable.  Basically, Abraham ran away.  And if I had to name my biggest fault, it’s that I run away when things get tough.  And I have to say, I’m pretty good at it. 

I don’t just run away when things get tough; I justify it so that I don’t look like the coward or the quitter that I actually am.  I’m very persuasive.  Especially in my own head.  So during this Bible Study, I started thinking about all the times I ran away when things got tough.  When things were uncomfortable.  When I told myself that things were hopeless.  When I thought to myself, “God couldn’t have meant for me to be here.  I think He meant something else.”  Because sometimes God makes mistakes that He needs me to fix.  But our priest said something that really stuck with me.  He said, “When in doubt, don’t move.”  As in, when you start to freak out, when you tell yourself this isn’t going to work, I made a wrong turn, I’m not meant for this, how could God bring me to a famine…stay where you are.  Because you’ll never see the blessing if you run away.  The blessing is in the famine. 

When something isn’t the way you expected it to be, resisting the urge to quit may be one of the hardest things to do.  Because it doesn’t just stop at “not quitting.”  It’s taking the next step that says, “I want to be here because God wants me to be here.” 

And so, blog readers, you will hold me accountable to this.  After all, if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just quit.  Sike! Just making sure you’re paying attention.