No Fat Included

I’m not a big fan of guessing. And I like to avoid trial and error whenever possible. This makes dating kind of difficult. It’s like every guy I meet is battling me in a game of Guess Who? I have to ask 20 yes or no questions and waste considerable time just trying to figure out if their person is Charles or Frank. Can’t it be simpler? Can’t we remove the ambiguity?

Life would be great if people were packaged like our food. With nutritional facts and ingredients posted on the outside, it doesn’t take much effort to decide if you should put the item in your shopping cart or not. 300 calories per serving and no vitamin benefit? No thank you. Except it would be more like: Full of himself and has commitment issues? No thank you. Oh how sweet dating would be if I could cut out the fat. I wouldn’t have to wait 2 months before finding out that he values his career more than his relationships. Or that his attention seems diverted every time a pretty girl walks by. We could get rid of that dumb notion that they’ll change when things get serious. Or that we could teach them new things or new habits.

Dating should be like interviewing for a job. Show me what you got up front. I’ll take a look at what you’re presenting. But when it comes time to ask about past experiences and certifications, you better be honest. You listed your references; I have a phone. When I ask “What’s your biggest fault?”, don’t tell me it’s being a perfectionist. Or when I inquire as to how well you work in teams, don’t tell me you love group work but prefer to work alone.

When will we all stop wearing the façade? People may have time on their hands, but not to waste. And they may have energy to expend, but not in vain. If you have issues, resolve them before you get them mixed up with someone else. If you don’t know what you want, figure it out before you go looking for what you don’t understand. Dating shouldn’t be a game, but we’ve made it into one.

I’ll be sticking to the grocery store for now.