Monday, May 12, 2008

Stuff I Wrote in College: Who Says I Can't?

Have we been desensitized into giving up our dreams?
Our society wants us to grow up so quickly that it has left no room for the pursuit of “infantile” ambition. I’m 21 and I feel like I’m too old to pursue the dreams I had as a kid. And by kid, I mean any time before now.
I wanted to play the drums, be a DJ, learn how to surf, have a crazy sneaker collection, backpack across South America, play high school ball… Now I feel like it’s too late. I’ve got one year of school left; then it’s time to get a job. Why? Because that’s what my society tells me is the next step. Just like college was the next step after high school. Just like getting married and having a family is supposed to be my ultimate goal.
WTF?
Who created this world? I want to make my own mistakes. I want to be a waitress and live off tips. I want to live in a crappy apartment in New York City. I want to create art with my hands; be it through music, paint, or graphics. I want to tag my name on the side of a building. I want to spend 200 bucks on a pair of limited edition sneakers, and be broke for the next 2 months. I want to be loudly tattooed. I don’t want my clothes to match. I don’t want to worry if there’s food in my teeth or a hole in my shirt. I don’t want to sit like a young lady or hold in my burps. I want to laugh at crude humor. I want to play practical jokes on people. I want to be a beach bum. I want to snowboard, successfully. I want to skate on ramps or in parks where skating isn’t allowed. I want to break a rib while grinding off a rail. I want to play board games until 4 in the morning. I want to take salsa lessons. I want to tell people they suck when they do. I want to take the Senior class dork to his prom. I want to read a new book every week. I want to learn how to fix my own car, change my own oil, and replace a flat tire. I want to learn at least 3 more languages. I want to dye my hair really red. I want to sit on the hood of my car, in an empty parking lot, having a quality conversation for at least 5 hours. I want to date boys who are terribly wrong for me. I want to box. I want to get in a fistfight. I want to catch people in their lies and blow up their spot in front of large amounts of people. I want to meet people and not judge them by how they’re dressed, the way their hair looks, or the way they talk. I want to eat healthy things and run everyday…to live longer, not to maintain some sort of image. I want to start a local trend, like a catchphrase or wearing t-shirts inside-out. I want to be in a band. I want to watch the sun set over the ocean, from my living room window. I want to be a bartender. I want to win a lip-synching contest. I want to do stand-up comedy, and actually make people laugh.
I want to be supported with whatever I do. If I make a mistake, I want to learn from it. I want to look back on my life without regret. I want my options to be limitless.

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