Kids

You know what I miss?  Being a kid.  And I was a weird one.  I was this strange mix of nerd, tomboy, and goofball. 

For example, In the 3^rd grade, we learned our states and their capitals.  And to do so, my teacher printed a large (like it took up a whole wall) map of the United States.  Then for some reason, we had some kind of drawing to win the map and take it home, and I won.  And it was the happiest day of my 3^rd grade career.  I hung it up in my bedroom.

I used to play touch football every day after school on the street by the mailboxes (we had community mailboxes).  We chose this street because people only drove on it to get their mail.  We figured game interruptions would be limited that way.  After-school-touch-football was the highlight of my day.  And I loved it.  Especially toward the end when we got tired and just sat on the grass and made fun of each other.

I used to pretend that I was James Bond.  But first I had to pretend that I was British Intelligence (so that James Bond could have a mission).  So I would go in my closet (or my office), write a letter to James Bond telling him what he had to do.  Then I would close the letter, and open it again…this time as James Bond.  I would then carry out my mission successfully.

During Hide and Seek (if it was indoors), my favorite places to hide included the following: under someone’s bed, under the sink (in the cabinet), or the dryer.  I quickly learned that 2 of these 3 places were pretty unsafe.  I still did it anyway.

One day, I found a permanent marker.  So I went around the exterior of my house and drew doorbells on the walls.  I knew they didn’t work; but I wanted options.

I loved riding my bike around the neighborhood.  But I hated the South Florida gnats that liked to congregate in groups at about eye level.  So I wore my snorkeling goggles while I rode my bike.  This proved effective until I realized that exhaling from my nostrils fogged the goggles and blurred my view.  Solution: I breathed through my mouth only.  New problem: the gnats flew in my mouth.

I loved lighting things on fire: leaves, plastic, rocks, paper…scissors; ok, not really scissors, but how could I pass up that sequence?  This was fun until I lit my grandmother’s doilies on fire.  I wasn’t allowed near matches or lighters after that.

In the 4^th or 5^th grade, I memorized all the US presidents in order.  I still remember them.  For years afterward, this proves to be the most impressive thing I can do.

In the 8^th grade, we had to do an Independent Study Project.  It could be on whatever topic you wanted.  Most kids did theirs on cool things they liked.  I did mine on the Romanov Dynasty.  I’m still not sure why.

I was in love with cartoons.  Some of my favorite characters included: Darkwing Duck, Donatello from the Ninja Turtles, the Joker from The New Batman/Superman Adventures…and basically, anyone with purple clothing.  I memorized the order of when they aired for weekday afternoons and Saturday mornings, as well as their corresponding theme songs.

I was determined to have a tree house.  So after heavy storms would come through and break off pieces of our wooden fence, I seized the opportunity to place these pieces of wood in the tree in my backyard.  Sadly, I never made a tree house.  But I did have two wooden planks with rusty nails that I used to sit on.

I could never finish my dinner; especially if cubed meat was involved.  I discovered that if I put the cubed meat in my mouth, pretended to chew, and then hid the meat under the couch in our living room, I could effectively escape my fate.  This worked until they had to move all the furniture when we replaced our carpet with tile.  That was a bad day.

I broke my left arm 3 times before I was 7.  The 3rd time was while playing “Superman” in our church’s cry room.  This was during a church service, and the cry room had a wall-length window.  Needless to say, everyone knew when it was my turn to be Superman.

Yeah.  I really miss being a kid.