Lists

I love making lists.  I make them for everything.  Packing, shopping, to-doing.  Not only do lists help me not forget, they help me feel like I’ve achieved something.  At the end of whatever it is, I can look at my crossed-off list and think to myself, “I am an accomplished individual.”  And that’s what I do.  In a British accent to make it more pretentious-sounding.  Ok, not really.

One time, way back when I was young and naïve…so not that long ago…I decided to make a list of all the things I wanted my husband to be.  Things like “bilingual”, “athletic”, “doesn’t hate my family.”  It was a lofty list.  Now the funny part (or sad part…not sure) is that I happened to find a guy who matched everything on my list.  And it was horrible.  Not only did it not last very long, but I learned an important lesson: people who seem perfect on paper may not be perfect in real life.  Well, they’ll never be perfect.  But you get the idea.

Then I see this tweet from Donald Miller.  Donald Miller is one of my favorite authors (if not my favorite author) and he just recently got engaged to the girl of his dreams.  Hey Donald Miller, congrats man!  Hope all goes well!  So in this tweet, he says, “What are you looking for in a spouse? Why not create a list?” which happens to link to his blog post with the same title.  When I first saw this tweet, I thought, “Oh no, Donald.  Surely you know better than to make lists about spouses!”  But he put his thoughts in a perspective that was new to me.  And because I’m becoming more female these days, the blog post actually made me cry.

Donald’s point was that his fiancé’s list of what she wanted in a spouse is actually helping to make Donald a better man.  It’s important to note that his fiancé’s list is actually a great list…and more important to note that it’s a Godly list.  So when Don saw this list, he didn’t think, “Yup, I’m all those things and more!” or on the contrary, “Man, my fiancé really settled.”  Instead, he looked at the list and thought, “this is what marriage is about.  Purification and sanctification.”  And I guess it made me reconsider this whole list business.  And to also realize that my husband probably has a list of his own…and how I should want to work on myself so that I can live up to it.  Unless it’s a list like: “tall, models part-time, wears lots of make-up and high heels.”  Then I’m afraid I can’t do much there.